Ramadan Kareem Pt 2

We're in full swing of Ramadan now and the students are back in school and everything is pretty much peachy. This Friday we're going to a friend's house to celebrate Onam with the 2nd annual totally awesome Kerala-banana leaf feast, and tomorrow night going out to Habtoor Grand for a birthday party with some other friends. It's all just so.... *normal*. What can I say that's even interesting?

Since our car exploded, we've rented a new one, tentatively dubbed "The Purple Turtle," as it is a deep plum colored Daihatsu in the shape of a turtle with all sorts of nifty college-kid style gadgets inside, like an auxiliary jack for an mp3 player. I'm sure it's eco-friendly, as well. After our outrageous summer and a fairly expensive celebratory return-to-Dubai, we're kinda broke, so I'm not sure if we'll be buying another car right away or renting for another month. Turns out, if you want a cheap used car ($2-5k), you can't really get a loan, so you have to save up. Which I guess is harder if you're renting at the same time. C'est la vie.

Out and about Dubai

On the eve of Ramadan, we went down to the neighborhood around Burj Dubai (the really tall

tower) to hang out and have a few drinks and enjoy the weather (ha.)

Below you can see the bottom third of the burj, along with the world's largest dancing fountains, and Dan looking cute on the patio outside the Address hotel. We had some calamari at this place Calabar, and I have to say, it was some of the most perfectly prepared calamari I've ever had.

Things are Movin' and Shakin'

Our washing machine broke, so Dan called someone to fix it at about 7pm. Unbelievably, the man from the wash-fixing company arrived at 8:30 to pick up our washing machine and drive it away and fix it. Less than 24 hours later, he is delivering it back and hooking it up, this evening. That's faster than it takes to send my laundry across the street to wash. It's bizarre.

Our air conditioning in the car also broke, so Dan took it to the dealership for an estimate. Strangely, an estimate alone costs $100, which I think is pretty much a stupid robbery. Then, the cost to fix it is like, significantly more than the car cost. My theory is that the whole thing can be fixed with 20 dirhams worth of a/c refresher at the gas station. If not, we'll get a new car. :)

Also, we have a new maid coming today, who I must train. This whole thing is very strange. But I'll do my best. She will come over three times a week and do our laundry and ironing and clean our house. We asked her what she wanted for a salary. Name your salary, and we will negotiate on hours from there, I was thinking. Seems she wants $122 a month.... I had to stop myself from telling her that's ridiculous and that she should be asking for more. This kind of thing is dangerous... you could REALLY get used to never doing your own laundry again.

Ramadan Kareem

It's almost Ramadan, which I'll get into in a minute. First of all, let me say, that while in Peru, we went to Macchu Picchu, which is similar to the Taj Mahal, in that, pictures don't do it justice. It's really a wild place, and big. I recommend it. You'll really get your exercise hiking all over Incan ruins in Peru, though - we visited a few smaller sites in the days leading up to Macchu Picchu, and by the time we arrived at MP, my calves felt like cement blocks, and every step was like a hammer smashing the cement block into cracked pulverized cement powder. Dan-man gave me the following advice:

1) Stretch thoroughly 2) Keep moving

Bingo. After 20-30 minutes of hiking up and down terraces, the pain had faded...until the next morning.

Back here in the UAE, we are gearing up for Ramadan. "Gearing up" means doing things to prepare for the closures and changes in timings associated with the holy month. For example, taking time to go clean out the liquor store before they close for a month. We drove out on Saturday and procured enough to definitely last us through Ramadan, and maybe through the end of the 2012 Olympics if we're careful. Our most interesting purchase was a 4.5 liter glass bottle of Dewar's white label scotch, which was a screaming deal, since after Dan is finished drinking the scotch, we can re-purpose the bottle as a camping shelter.

I also now have the new espresso machine, which will keep me in lattes while the coffee shop at work is closed. In fact, I'm at home drinking a latte right now, out of a black "Yes We Can" mug with Obama's skyward gaze emblazoned on the side. I like associating Barack Obama with Morning Coffee. It's pleasant. Invigorating. Inspirational. As the caffeine takes effect, the mug is communicating to me subliminally, making me think: maybe today I'll go out and make something of myself, like becoming president of the USA. I'm imbued with get-up-and-go spunk before I'm even out of my pajamas.

I might also be preparing myself some kind of plan for food during the day at work, except that I think I've decided to fast along with a lot of my colleagues and students. I figure, muslims don't have a total monopoly on spiritual renewal. Why not take the opportunity to spend daylight hours focusing on restraint, charity, rejuvenation? Practice asceticism for 15 hours a day, then go home and really enjoy dinner. I can't do a total fast though, I'll have to do a water fast. I can't go all day without drinking water in the middle of summer. I'll dry up into a crunchy pile of sand and blow away.

2 kilos of apples

I'm going to make apple crisp today, because Dan accidentally got 2 kilos of apples delivered to the house. 'Nuff said.

It's my first day back in Dubai, and I dropped the man off at work so that I could make use of the car, which I did, to drive around to several different stores looking for the ingredients for turkey soup and seared tuna. Unfortunately, turkey and tuna are not available in this town, which I determined only after buying everything else. I'm going to try the soup with chicken, and I may yet venture further afield in search of the tuna over the weekend.

I actually did find one whole turkey carcass at the third grocery store I visited - but it was expensive, and it was way too much turkey. I don't need a -whole- turkey, just a half pound or so.

I am delighted, however, to be the proud new owner of both an espresso machine and a big shiny toaster oven. Embarking on year 2 here, I decided to start furnishing my kitchen like someone who lives here instead of someone who's just visiting. Out with the $6 toaster that burns everything, in with the Black & Decker convection oven/toaster/broiler. Cha-ching! The first thing I'm going to do when I get it out of the box is make some cheese toast.

All this wild adventure makes my trip back here seem like a distant memory, despite it being only yesterday. I know I'm back in Dubai when...

...between disembarking the plane and passport control, where there are absolutely no options to turn, but there are several escalators and moving walkways, some group of travelers in front of me decides to pull up nice and cozy at the entrance to the escalator with all their luggage and stop for a chat. Typical.

...it takes me 30 seconds to breeze through passport control. This is ALWAYS the case. In every other country in the world, it takes 15, 30, 60, 90 minutes. Here in Dubai? 30 seconds. Thank you again.

...McDonald's is only serving Halal meats.

I can take a deep breath of dusty, humid air, and smile - I'm back in familiar surrounds.

Back In The Emirates

And I'm back. DXB to PDX. PDX to LIM. LIM to PDX. PDX to DXB. A fantastic vacation that I wish wholeheartedly was still in full swing. The reunions with friends and family were painfully insufficient to tide me over for what may be a long abscence in some cases. The travel was tantilizing spectacular, making me wonder how much more fun it would have been with a month or two more to explore. But tragically, I'm back at work. Life goes on and I haven't yet figured out a way to live that untethered life that I seriously try to map out every time my alarm goes off in the morning. The life that only that guy someone once met in passing knows how to live where you just keep traveling and getting into adventures, but nothing tragic or terrible ever happens. That guy is the coolest.

But it ain't all bad. I've been using the unfortunate condition of Alicia's absense to catch up on my gin drinking, my bar visiting, and my dance-club going. And while work is a chore, it's been good to catch up with some Dubai friends who seem to have been going stir crazy in the Summer doldrums waiting for people to return from vacations. Dubai isn't particularly pleasant weather-wise this time of year and the streets are inordinately quiet, as are the halls of my employer. Hence, a few people were happy to see me. Funny how that makes it feel a little more like home.

The Shaman

The picture below, which I randomly found on the internet, approximates my main hallucination while under the influence of ayahuasca and the guidance of the jungle shaman:

This, after imbibing a medicine-y brew of green icky stuff and listening to the chanting and spanish-language catholic-influenced prayers of the shaman for a couple of hours, was perhaps one of the most coherent of my many visions.

It all started on a dark and blustery evening in the Amazon, when the shaman came and told us what to expect. "Bring a blanket," he said. "Bring water. Bring a pillow." Check and check. "When the medicine takes effect, you can expect that maybe the jungle will be talking to you. Or it could be in the form of a small virgin. Whatever it is, don't be scared. I am in control, nothing bad will happen." Okey dokey, shaman. My mind is in your hands.

My two partners in mindbending and I meandered back behind the lodge, into the jungle, over a bridge and up a path of stones lit by torch to an octagonal, screened ceremonial hut, where we took our places on some cushions and settled in for.... well, something.

It started like this: picture several lava lamps and a trippy "seeing eye" poster melting together and spinning rapidly around the room. Then imagine some 60s hippie kids in an electric kool-aid acid test van dumping brightly-colored crazy paint all over the freeway. Then imagine that a swamp/jungle starts growing in the midst of all this. There's some swampy water, and some frogs and toads croaking in the background, and a bunch of vines growing all over everything. It's all happening at very high speed. The whole time, you're looking for your spirit guide so you can ask him/her/it some questions, like how you can be healthy, do better at work, finish your projects, learn arabic more effectively and achieve lasting happiness. But your spirit guide isn't showing up. HELLO! You yell through the crazy paint. ARE YOU MY SPIRIT GUIDE? No answer. You begin to grow increasingly frustrated. You are no longer amused by the colorful geometric patterns whizzing by your head. You keep forgetting you have a body, and when you remember, it annoys you. You are about to ask for your money back due to your spirit guide not showing up, when suddenly it dawns on you: You Are The Spirit Guide. Suddenly you view the earth from space, and it is bursting with light. I Am The Universe. I Am the Light. All Matter and Energy is Together and It Is all God and I Have All the Answers, I Must Simply Think Them. Shortly thereafter, you fall into utter, complete bliss, peace, and happiness, lay down in a field of daisies, and decide that nothing matters except your love for humanity, which nothing can ever destroy or eliminate. You are at complete peace with all things and all people. You are care free. You are a beautiful and unique snowflake. Everything is extraordinarily beautiful and peaceful.

This, in a nutshell, was basically my experience on ayahuasca.

The entire next day, Iwandered around, starstruck at the beauty of the world, the love I felt for my fellow man, and the total weightlessness of having no worries at all.

36 hours later, in the airport, behind some horrid rude woman and her obese, miscreant children, I thought to myself: humanity is a disgusting pile of rotten waste and I hate all of you.

Then I concentrated on my memory of peace, and came to some internal compromise, leading me to conclude that this experience was definitely worth something.

Adios, America!

In the last month of not posting, we've been extraordinarily busy. In a few days, it will be adios, America, and I have to say, I'm looking forward to getting back "home" to Dubai, despite the fact that it is 115 degrees over there. I'll start relaying some of the more interesting anecdotes from my July adventures in dribs and drabs here and there, but lets start by examining the main reasons I'm looking forward to getting home.


#1 - I miss my man, pictured below.

...he had to go back early to work. He did get that monkey off his back.

#2 - I want to be able to go to the doctor and not have to pay. I have health insurance EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD except the USA and Canada. Naturally, I'm sick.

#3 - I miss ordering gyros delivery and vegging out on the couch and watching football.

#4 - I haven't studied a lick of Arabic since leaving the UAE, except for while sitting in a jungle lodge in Peru playing with Micah's iPod touch, which has some kind of language quick-reference thingy installed on it. If you're lost in a seedy souq somewhere in the backstreets of Marrakech at night, you can whip out your trusty iPod touch and flip to the arabic pronunciation for "don't come near me, I have leprosy and a pocket full of poisonous spiders," and just put it on repeat, then wander around all night looking for your hotel without fear.