I can identify a few things that I never, ever thought I would do, that I have now done:
1. Listen to live recitations of the Quran.
This is because my car is a hoopty with no CD player and not even a functioning tape player. The cigarette lighter feeds power to an iPod adapter but cuts out every time my hoopty ride rolls over a bump in the sand, so that leaves me with basically two options: Virgin Radio, or the Quran. But I must say, the Quran is highly zen in a traffic jam.
2. Enjoy Nescafe.
Yeah, I said it. You heard me. This morning, I microwaved a nice hot cup of bottled water, and stirred in some Nescafe GOLD granules with a healthy heap of dehydrated creamer. Mmm mm good - and timesaving. Now that I'm waiting for Dan-O to drop me off at work in the morning, I don't have time to spend 20 dirhams on a latte and a fruit salad every morning at the campus coffee shop. Can I still call myself a Northwesterner? If I couch my low-grade coffee-consumption into a Northwest homage every morning (I'll hum Nirvana or something with each sip) can I avoid the special level of hell reserved for product traitors like me?
3. Lose a $40,000 falcon.
I knew when I turned 13 that I was going to be a master of falconry - which is why I convinced my Dad to sell his car and take a credit advance to buy a starter falcon this winter. I knew that I would eventually win the admiration of falconers the world over and be able to compete in tournaments and exhibitions with the Pros. I dedicated myself to constant practice - and when I took my $40,000 falcon out to the desert for the first time, and flung him off of my arm without a string to perform a simple loop-return command, and when he never came back, that's when I knew.... Just kidding. This didn't happen to me! But thinking about how it didn't happen to me gives me a whole new lease on life.
1 comment:
It starts with Nescafe. It ends with ritualistic suicide. Think about it...
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