I don't care what Steve Jobs says, I know the iPod is artificially intelligent

This afternoon was one of the most successful I've had so far in terms of navigating two notoriously difficult things to navigate in Dubai: a) taxis, and b) institutional bureaucracy. In the height of afternoon rush hour, I took my fly self out on to the street and hailed a taxi in less than 2 minutes. "Take me to Lulu's!" I exclaimed to the taxi driver triumphantly. My mission was to get passport photos and an eye test at Lulu's hypermarket, both items which are required for a driver's license. On arriving at Lulu's, I was able to get my photos taken with no wait, buy toilet paper while they developed, pick them up and proceed to my eye exam with no wait, and get a 'fit for driving - no glasses required' certification from the optical center. Was it all luck and good timing, or am I just incredibly charming? I know which one I'll choose to believe. And here's my ultimate point: I arrived home, set the iPod to shuffle, and, as if I'd picked it myself, the first song that came on was "Miss New Booty" by Bubba Sparxx. Miss New Booty indeed, sir. Miss New Booty indeed.